My Life In Pictures

A beautiful portrait of me taken by my oldest child.

(Disclaimer: This post is intended to be humorous. It is not a cry for help. It is merely an account of actual life with kids. Enjoy!)

Let me just start by saying that I love both of my children with every ounce of my being. They are some of my favorite people on the planet. However, this does not mean that they don’t drive me absolutely crazy at several points throughout each and every day. They don’t always listen, they negotiate their point of view constantly, they leave shit all over the house and as seen above - they think it’s hilarious to take really bad pictures of me… like all the time. (I could literally fill a photo album with these.) Yet, I still see the good in them and love them to pieces. I am sure they will make wonderful adults someday but in the present moment… it is a never ending battle to teach them manners, respect, life skills and instill a strong work ethic in them. However, I never waver on the end goal - I just want my kids to become good people in every sense of the word.

I feel that part of my job is to teach them to be respectful of both the people around them but also for the things they own. I want them to understand what it takes to keep a house up and take care of things. I do not want them feel like if they just don’t do the task that is asked of them - that somehow it will magically get done on its own. This would be a disservice to both them and any future roommates or partners they may have that will have to endure co-habitating with them. I had that roommate in college once. It was not fun for me. Taking pride in your home and your belongings takes work and I want them to understand that. 

At the current moment, I find the lack of focus and follow through when I ask them to do something to be maddening. I am constantly reminding them to “complete the transaction” and to have more “attention to detail.” I have uttered these phrases until I am blue in the face. It is important to me to keep saying it though. My hope is that eventually the repetition may sink in - teaching them to see the task through to the end and have it be a job well done. Because after all, as my dad says - “If it’s not done right, it’s not worth doing.” Wise words Dad.

I grew up with only two sisters - no brothers. Even all of our pets were girls. Our dad was outnumbered. The scales were tipped in our favor in that respect. I don’t recall any one of us just not carrying out a task when asked or just saying it was completed when it clearly was not. Not that I live in a house full of boys, I have often wondered about this lackadaisical attitude - is this a boy thing? Or are my kids and I just of different generations? Was I more fearful of my parent’s methods of discipline and/or there were less distractions like cell phones and iPads to steer me off course? I may never know the answer to this question but the experiment will likely continue for years to come.

My friend Barb sees this same behavior in her son and when he exhibits it she labels him as “Distraction Jackson.” Both spot on in description and perfectly rhyming, I adopted this nickname in our home recently. Upon using it for the first time directed at one of my children, the other child chastised the said Distraction Jackson for getting awarded that title. I immediately responded, “You aren’t exactly Freddy Focus today my friend.” (It was one of my quicker responses which actually caught them off guard and I was a little bit proud of my instant turnaround.)

They always say that with parenting, that the days are long but the years are short. I know there will come a day that I will miss all these messes and the boys being home 24/7. There will be a time when they will no longer live with me and sadly I won’t see them as much as I do now. They will just breeze in and out in between living their own adult lives elsewhere. Like all things though, when you are in it - it is hard to visualize a time like that or appreciate the chaos you are currently experiencing. Until that time comes though, I am trying to see the humor in the great divide of “Mom Standard” vs “Kid Standard.”

So for your enjoyment - I present my life in pictures right now. This is for every parent out there - especially my fellow boy moms. I see you. I hear you. I stand with you. We will survive this.

Let me set the scene…

Scene 1: “I have a knot in my shoe.”
(The shoe was yanked off and left at the bottom of the stairs in the garage. Never to be mentioned again until I tripped over it later that day.)

Scene 2: “Yes, I hung up my clean laundry before bed.”
(These are the clothes I found abandoned on a shelf in the closet the next morning. The doors were closed to conceal the mess.)

Scene 3: “Yes, I did my dishes.”
(Does leaving them near the dishwasher count? I think not.)

Scene 4: “I got the mail for you, Mom!”
(The mail was left in the garage in an undisclosed location. Eventually I discovered it. It was all junk mail.)

Scene 5: “Yes, I washed my hands and cleaned up the bathroom.”
(The hands were in fact clean for once. The bathroom however looked like a war zone. The towel surely would have mildewed if I had not hung it up.)

Scene 6: “Yes, my homework is done and I am packed up for school.”
(The binder with the homework in it was abandoned on the floor of the bedroom. Upstairs. The farthest point possible from the backpack.)

Scene 7: “Yes, I put my laundry away.”
(The laundry was found piled on the book basket tower.)

Scene 7.5: “Yes, I also put my laundry away.
(The laundry was found in a pile… on the chair… in the corner.)

Scene 8: “Yes, my backpack is completely ready for school.”
(It clearly was not.)

Scene 9: “Yes, I put my shoes away in the rack.”
(I remind them of this multiple times a day as we go in and out of the house. See picture for confirmation. Close but not close enough.)

Scene 10: “Yes, I sorted everyone’s laundry by owner into nice, neat piles.”
(It was not only not folded or sorted but co-mingled, twisted, inside out and some of it was left on the floor.)

The Final Act: “Yes, of course I made my bed.”
(Again, see picture. There are no words.)

Final Thoughts

I hope that you enjoyed this little presentation. It’s Friday. Order pizza. Tomorrow is a new day. You can worry about those piles then. Godspeed my friends.