Super (S)hero Spotlight: Eileen Sullivan
“You can never have too many friends dead or alive.” - Eileen Sullivan
(The name of this individual has been changed to protect their Super (S)hero privacy.)
In the summer of 2004 I was finalizing the planning of my wedding at a hotel and restaurant located across the street from my then office I was working in. I received an email saying the Catering Director was moving on to a new position elsewhere and that the planning of my wedding would be handed off to her replacement. Having spent years dining at the restaurant and planned a few events at the hotel myself, I had made friends with some of the hotel and restaurant staff over the years. During this time, I had also secretly wished to make the transition from my current role in corporate events to planning weddings and social events.
Upon receiving this email about the upcoming staff change, I responded quickly jokingly saying… “Gee Heather, if I had known you were leaving, I would have applied for your job.” That email response changed the course of my life. Before I knew it, the restaurant management responded to me saying that I had been their first choice of replacements but that they didn’t think I’d want to make such a big job change just a couple of months before my own wedding. I had found my way in.
So in September of 2004, I left my post college employer of 5 years and took a leap of faith to accept my dream job. It was a big change for this Auditor turned Event Manager that had mostly worked only in corporate offices. I left the corporate world and dove into working for a high-end, family owned Italian restaurant and a privately owned boutique hotel. I went from sterile cubicles and individual offices to one fish bowl office at the back of the restaurant with an ancient ice machine that ran loudly right outside the office door. The restaurant manager sat behind me, the chef’s desk was kiddie corner and the servers would breeze in and out all day long. The Italian born husband and his wife co-owned the restaurant with the chef. The husband and wife had met in a courtroom during their former careers. He had been a lawyer and she was a social worker. They both had fiery personalities but shared a love of good food and great people so they reinvented themselves and became restaurateurs after they married.
On many mornings, the husband and wife would arrive at the restaurant together already having had an argument in the car about a personal matter on the way into work… that was still going on. No one seemed phased or bothered by this - the rest of the staff would just carry on working. The entire staff had all worked together for many, many years. They had seen one another through many phases of life and had the stories to prove it. They were like one big family and I was the newest member. The owners were like parents to all of us, the chef like a favorite uncle, the restaurant manager was like an older brother and the rest of the staff were like a bunch of siblings and extended family members. It was a cast of characters. It was wild. And I loved every minute of it.
Just two months later as I was still settling into the learning curve, my wedding took place. My new husband and I embarked on a week-long honeymoon immediately after our wedding in Hawaii. When I returned, I was knee deep in work as I was not only still getting up to speed, but corporate holiday party planning was in full swing. It was the busiest time of year. Among the many calls and emails I had to return from existing clients, there were a few new clients that had signed on with the restaurant owners in my absence. One of them was Eileen Sullivan.
E.S. was a mother of one of my brides and she was going to be the main point of contact for the wedding. Upon emailing and introducing myself, we hit it off immediately. I could see that she had a wicked sense of humor and I appreciated her perspective on what was normally a stressful season of life - wedding planning. We bonded over our love of Italian food and we just seemed to “get each other” when it came to most things.
The following summer, E.S.’s daughter got married at the hotel. It was a beautiful day and despite the extremely warm temperatures in the outdoor courtyard - the event went off without a hitch. I normally did not go in on the day of the weddings as I would hand them off to my Banquet Manager to execute. Laura had many years of weddings under her belt and was a total pro - but on this day I made an exception as I wanted to be there for the event in person. Although I was not an official wedding guest, E.S. treated me like family and introduced me around. This was a special soul. This was one of my people.
After her daughter’s wedding was over, E.S. and I kept in touch. She would drop by the restaurant for lunch with her friends or colleagues and ask for me. We would email each other occasionally to say hello. Eventually we started to get together outside of the restaurant. We would have great conversations where she would weave in bits of wit and wisdom with her hilarious delivery that would apply to whatever situation was happening in my life at the time. Things like, “Normal is a setting on a washing machine, Cara.” or “Family… somebody has to love those people.” One day she called me and told me how she literally stopped a moving car with her bare hands during her lunch hour that day. The car had been in a parking lot, slipped out of gear and was rolling into the street. She truly was a super (s)hero donning an invisible cape… but it was clear as day to me… this lady was awesome.
A couple of years later, my husband and I decided to relocate out of state to build a better life and sadly I was going to have to leave my job at the restaurant. E.S. and her husband attended our goodbye party and we vowed to stay in touch.
E.S. and I…cackling about something at my going away party.
When we relocated to the Pacific Northwest, it was a tough transition at first. Our home in California took longer to sell than we anticipated. We were stuck in temporary housing for four months during a very cold and snowy winter. It was lonely and isolating for me. We didn’t know many people in the area and I wasn’t working at first so I relied on my friends back home for support. E.S. was definitely one of them. She helped me get through and find the humor on some dark days - even when the pumpkin pie I had baked for our Thanksgiving dinner slipped out of my hands and landed face down in our temporary apartment oven making it inedible. It was not an easy time but thanks to her, I found the humor in the situation. (We still laugh about it to this day.)
The 2007 Thanksgiving pumpkin pie. R.I.P.
As soon as we were able to purchase a new home, I shared the news and as luck would have it - E.S. was coming to Washington to see some other friends. The day after the moving truck delivered all of our belongings that had been in storage for months - E.S. was our first visitor. She arrived with housewarming gifts, a sense of humor, a positive spirit and tons of enthusiasm. Just what I needed. Thanks E.S.
Years later, when my children were born… E.S. was there to visit and would come hold my babies. Nowadays, when I travel back to California with the boys for visits - she always makes herself available, opens her home to us and plays and interacts with my kids as if they were her own family. Every visit she greets me with a warm embrace, a smile and that signature E.S. twinkle in her eye.
Throughout all of these phases of life, E.S. has been there for me. She always checks on me periodically, sends a card or a note and now refers to me as “her other daughter.” This is a title I am proud to hold. When a few weeks or months go by without talking to one another, we can dial the phone or visit each other and it’s not like a day has gone by. We just pick up where we left off. Those are the best kind of friends.
Over the years, there have been many times that I have written down or repeated the pieces of wisdom that she has bestowed upon me. They are not only useful but usually make me laugh out loud. How lucky I am to have a friend that is both clever and wise.
So here is a little bit of wisdom from this wonderful and amazing woman. Enjoy!
In Her Own Words
Do you have a mantra or piece of wisdom that you use as a moral compass? What is it and where did it originate from?
Kindness and honesty, with some humor win the day. My parents.
What advice or wisdom do you wish your 20 year old self had and why?
Enjoy the moment, because life goes by so quickly.
What life event changed the course of your life and why? What wisdom did you receive by experiencing this?
Meeting my future husband. We married and moved to London. Go where your heart leads you.
What is the most important piece of wisdom that you ever received from someone else and why?
My mother-in-law used to say “trust”. I have learned that things always workout if you trust they will. A positive attitude goes a long way.
What is the piece of wisdom that you most share with others?
Be happy. Life is full of ups and downs and experience brings you wisdom.
Final Thoughts
While it was just a short two and a half year stint that I worked for that little restaurant, my time there made a huge impact on me. It brought a bunch of amazing people into my life that I am lucky enough to still call friends today. One of the greatest among them is Eileen Sullivan.
My dearest E.S… thank you for loving this Gayle the way you do. I am forever grateful for your wit, your wisdom and your friendship. Don’t ever forget your cape.
